Sunday, April 06, 2008
sry, i noe was slackin abt bloggin
last last wed, showed my face for a while durin cca, den rushed down to queensway to get the og shirt thing settled... haiz just hope that things wil be ok... as i was headin back, i tried doin homework on the bus and felt a bit nauseous aftertt... =s... so i begun listenin to songs and i realise the mass dance songs was a good remedy for it! LOL... den... HAD DINNER WITH VANEE KAIYING AND JIAHAO!!! HAHA!!!and thruout it all, i was laughing and laughing uncontrollably... LOL felt realli blessed... the food was great, the price was low, and the company was good... realli released a lot of troubles when i was with them... felt so great... well, some things just dun realli change... HAHA...
thurs... CDAYL nite... didn't wanted to go... so was studyin with duc, till we saw them clearin up and went to help out a little... den duc left, while i helped the food com prep food for the campers... and i never realised that food com can be fun too! LOL! happened to meet waitsz, yenyu and xiaoyang cos of it... aniway, was very upset abt certain things, wanted to check things out, yet got ourselves involved in the nite... muneeb was thr too... LOL OG 29!... well, danced... anyway, i actually teared durin the emo part, which was led by mr chua... well, mixed feelings...
haha, mixed feelins... sumtyms i wonder wat's wrong... from the moment O2 began... den i realised... thr is a lack of concern and understanding for each other... tt's y he can play handphone games while the others are workin hard... tt's y he can dun care if the other person have eaten and just offer the food to someone who already had two helpings of the food... tt's why both of them didn't realised that none of them is terribly wrong, for they're both just tryin to do their work well... tt's y he, who have eaten and is off duty, can take and eat the food, which he was tasked to deliver to someone who have not eaten, and was still workin very very hard, and be dishonest about it... tt's y he can refuse to care about people whose life he is supposed to be responsible for... tt's y he can pretend to be the best and dun give a damn to the message the others passed down... tt's y speakers have a tough job due to the lack of response and support frm them... tt's y they can backstab each other
tt's y, tt's y
so i realli realli wonder what has went wrong... our fault? perhaps... our lack of guidance, and our lack of ability, to let them have a stronger sense of belonging, to make them join for the passion instead of the honour, to bond them together... lack of experience? perhaps... thus they dunno the expectations... lack of time? perhaps... so they weren't able to know each other well enough and build up the relationship with each other...
well, wat can i say? wat can i do?
well, i'm not even in good enough position to say anitin, a lot which i wan to sae, and so regret that i didn't
well... it's too early to say anitin now, aniway... at least, they are more enthu
fri... helped out at cookie hse aftersch... sebastian came back and help... sry bt i didn't recognise him, till he said his name... onli den i rmbed abt him LOL... any tt guy's realli funny, and well, inexperienced... good tt song sue and i was thr... LOL...
sat... went funorama... HAHA was damn early cos i wanted to leave early... but yf culdn't make it so i decided to go later and stay thruout... supposed to meet at 1.45, bouna vista... i reached thr at 1... LOL anyway was with eunice(saw her at bus stop) so acc her to dohtby guaut and catch up a little with her before takin the train back again... and was still early LOL... aniway, went thr, with ah gong, ruiyu, zhangfan n chenchen... met helga and steffi, saw da and his gf LOL... den mi, helga, steffi ahgong and ruiyu went to the doll hse... well, spent lik, 2 hrs + queuin up for it? chenchen and zf left 1st... haha hmm... not realli scary la... ruiyu was very funny... sum "doll" was tryin to grab his leg... he asked who was it cos he tot tt ppl too scared den go grab LOL... we also tot so when he said tt till someone grabbed ours... den cos we walkin in the dark and cnt realli see... he stepped on sth and he tot it was someone's leg... but aftertt we realised it's most likely one of the "dolls' " hand... LOL... spent the rest of the tics, den walked a long way tryin to find some food to eat (helga left us)... walk walk walk all the way, den decided to take bus to tiongbahru... nice dinner =D
sun went tutorin 1st, den slacked at my guardian's hse... den to my amazement, tt idiot told mi he was studyin o.O... went over to je, whr i met jinhwee vivian zhiwei eeseng sinhou... HAHA interestin clique of ppl to hang out wit LOL... spent sumtym lookin for place to have dinner LOL...
mon... things happened, causin mi to lose my cool... well, i can be fine with anitin, but dun take advantage of it... thr's a limit... aniway helped out with sizzlin ice aftertt... wah i was realli noob lor... aaron was thr too... so aftertt, headed together, and chatted abt a lot of things, abt things i didn't noe...
tue helped out at sizzlin ice again b4 goin to meet idiot and jinhwee at jp lib... went, saw yaoyao, ivy and huizhen thr too... met tis girl called jo-lin... studied, den idiot and i went for dinner... chatted, and realised sumthings is more than wat i tot it was...
wed went cca... HAHA had fun showin my face =x... wanted to go to queensway, but culdn't get the confirmation for the shirt =s... so studied with duc in sch... wenjie and xiaoyang joined us ltr... studied and aftertt, went to have dinner with duc... HAHA was so tired... duc said i looked lik i can fall aslp anytym HAHA
thurs... helped out at sizzling ice before studyin with idiot... got to noe a VERY shockin news, which i cnt disclose here, frm dejun and guys... got SO DAMN worried... HAIZ... studied, den thr was a bit of probs sharin with jh... well, life... got packed food and went home as it was very late already...
ytd... helped out at sizzlin ice... HAHA aaron was thr too... had lunch wit him den went to watch him play basketball with yf and his classmates... shangzhi joined as well.. haha quite nice la, of cos not as good compared to my classmates, out of which 3 guys are frm the bball team and angela, whose skills is better den general guys... but still, quite nice to watch... stayed on, chatted a bit with jinhwee and guys, den join aaron and felix for their chat... aaron and i continued after felix left, and realised we actually share similar tots abt several issues... it was nice chattin with him, and this time we didn't just chatted abt one thing... den yf came out, and we had dinner together...
tis mornin, finished my bleach and started on naruto... cooked lunch, tutor, slacked at my guardian's hse, get home... end...
just realised i forgot to blog abt celebratin mama hon's birthday, on 5th of march... mad rush back to jyss, bought cake, wrote card, and made it in time (before 3. she wanted to get home early.)... present with mama hon: mi, yao, vanee, edwin, cs, dickee, and yw, who left early. woo! lit the candle, sang the song, ate the cake. chatted, all the way till 4+... abt mas selamat, future path, and lives... HAHA kinda miss it... den as usual, we crapped abt wat happened here and thr... the gathering was short, bt the moment was captured... =D
haiz... a lot happened... i realised, i've quite forgotten the feelin... tt's y i didn't understand... his story sounds lik mine in the past... and yet i fail to see it... and my regrets for not doin it well... my last project in jyss... perhaps tt's y my juniors are liddat... haiz... and also the regrets for the failure in O1... though the regret for O1 was not realli that strong as compare to when i was in jyss... and my failure have implications... sth i've always been worry about, because it affects the life of others... a lot of ppl said i did well... but i noe it weren't the best, a lot culd've been prevented, a lot more culd've accomplished... he is doin all these because he dun wan the efforts to go down the drain... and i noe how it feels when it does... but i didn't tot of it b4... abt wat he is facin rite now...
and the trouble caused by it... if it causes such troubles, i dun see the point in it anymore... is it so hard to take a step back? and y push the responsibility ard... if u wan to talk, den u jolly well walk ur talk... if u dun wan to contribute, why talk so much? wat was the meanin of it in the 1st place? if it is causin all tis trouble, hasn't its meanin be defeated already? den y do we stil need it? disappointed... perhaps i realli shldn't care abt it...
and sumtyms u dun realli noe if ppl ard u noe wat u tink... sth one of my junior is also experiencin rite now... and ppl, it's either u tell the person u dislike them and why or u make sure they dun find out... dun tink tt ppl dun sae anitin means they dunno anitin... u dun have to make eyes at each other when tt person is talkin... and u tink the person wun see... well, well...
i noe tt ppl dun realli hate, but they dun accept some ppl's way of doin things... i'm guilty of it too... but well, once dislikin a certain attribute of a person becomes dislikin a person totally, it's different and it hurts... esp when it's frm the ppl u realli care abt and regard as ur friend...
i guess aaron is rite... ppl can be friends, but workin together changes things...
--I Need a Nap--
1:07 AM
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