Saturday, September 29, 2007
Officially, the H1s had gone, and the H2 knocks... screwed up my lit, but done ok for the other two... in the end, i still didn't do well... the structured was meant to help, but no, it was worse for me... exams... no time to worry... you have to just do... just crap... at least you get a chance... that is something i need to learn... to just write, just do... lets hope that my poem contrasts and push up my overall score...
chi and eng were ok... same problems... didn't finished, mainly due to worrying too much... forget it... ended...
was just telling fangming today... no matter what you do, there will be regrets... i kind of regret not going for pae, but yet again, if i go, i tink i will regret going as well... it's onli the magnitude and the things you gain and lost through your decision... that's life... filled with regrets, even though you know that it is not going to bring you anywhere, even though you know that it will make you feel terrible... but still, it's a feeling that you can't help having... the only thing is how you manage it...
and i tink i manages it pretty well, up to now... perhaps it's cause i'm still young and had not started making very big decisions or that sort yet... and had not experience the feeling of making a very very wrong desicion that will affect me for the rest of my life... perhaps i'm still young and naive; afterall, i'm only 16... time to grow up, i tink... should not keep being so childish... i should start to think more about my future... and view it in a more realistist manner, instead of the fairytale i perceive now...
sorry is the hardest word to say... old-fashioned, but 200% the truth... lik wingkin said the other tym, he dun sae thank you and sorry for the big things... i dun say sorry for this big things either, though i do say thank you... i'm not sure why... i can flood someone will thousands of sorrys when i accidentally banged into him or her... but i can never find it to say sorry for something big... perhaps it's cause i dunno how to admit that i made such a great mistake... perhaps it's cause i tink that i'm not the onli one who did it... or perhaps the mistake is so big that saying sorry will be insignificant and supercial, or rather, hypocrititcal.
--I Need a Nap--
1:12 AM
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Sunday, September 16, 2007
The person who tagged you is:
mm... Helga and Weeleong?
/ Your relationship with her/him is:
classmate and ah gong =x
/ Your 5 impressions of her/him:
Helga is very cheerful... can be a bit blur blur de... very cute and very nice! knows how to make ppl feel better! lol
Ah gong have VERY interesting expressions! =x can be emo at tyms...
/ The most memorable thing they had done for you:
knowing how to make mi laugh!
/ The most memorable words they had said to you:
helga: huh huh? oh shit.
ah gong: it's ok it's ok
/ If he/ she becomes your lover, you will:
mm... i dun tink i'll become a curve nor become my own ah ma =x
/ If he/ she becomes your lover, things he/ she has to improve on will be:
mm... helga has to become a boy and ah gong have to disown mi! O.O!
/ If he/ she becomes your enemy, you will:
erm, let's tink positively. IT WILL NOT HAPPEN
/ If he/ she becomes your enemy, the reason will be:
didn't i told u it wil not happen?
/ The most desired thing you want to do for him/ her now is:
try to make sure they dun emo?
/ Your overall impression of him/ her is:
CUTE!
/ How do you think people around you will feel about you?
weird, crazy, blur and slow XD
/ The characteristic (s) you love about yourself is /are:
can learn abt things on my own?
/ On the contrary. the characteristic (s) you hate of yourself is/ are:
lazy, stubborn, emotional, insensitive, childish
/ The most ideal person you want to be is:
a musician
/ For people that care and like you, say something to them:
I know I can be hurting at times, sorry if i hurt anyone, and sorry if i forgot about anyone.
/ Pass this quiz to 10 people that you wish to know how they feel about you:
1. helga
2. weeleong
3. vanessa
4. peishan
5. kaiying
6. michelle
7. chunsern
8. grace
9. angela
10. zikang
-Who is No. 6 having a relationship with?
BOAR =x
-Is No. 9 a female or male?
female
-If No. 7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing?
HAHA can try imagining it... both from m'sia~... bt tink they're quite straight
-How about No. 8 and 5?
mm... they're straight + 5 is taken
-What is No.2 studying about?
a level
-When was the last time you had a chat with No. 3?
yesterday
-What kind of music band does No. 8 like?
i only know that she likes english songs? LOL
-Does No. 1 has any siblings?
yea
-Will you woo No. 3?
HAHA dun have to she's my beloved bytch
-How about No. 7?
eh... he's my brother nia. kuchiki byakuya =x=x=x
-Is No. 4 single?
yea... anione? nice guys plz
-What's the surname of No. 5?
wong
-What's the name of No. 10?
stone? =x
-What's the hobby of No. 4?
audi LOL
-Do No.5 and 9 get along well?
mm... maybe so if they noe each other. who knows?
-Where is No. 2 studying at?
JJC
-Talk something casually about No. 1?
HAHA very active
-Have you tried developing feelings for No. 8?
i tried T.T but i just cannot bend myself
-Where does No. 9 live at?
lakeside
-What colour does No. 4 likes?
blue~
-Are No. 5 and 1 best friends?
LOL yea
-Does No. 7 likes No. 2?
mm... as friends? HAHA both m'sians nia
-How do you get to know No. 2?
HAHA schoolmate
-Does No. 1 have any pets?
nope
-Is No. 7 the sexiest person in the world?
mm... the most dsiao one perhaps?
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ok, another of this taggy game... quite fun actually HAHA...
recently is just mugging for promos... staying back to study with grace and so on... HAHA... oh ya vanee went to china! one road smooth wind ar! HAHA! den there's this learnin trip to URA... LOL FUN!!! i kinda miss excursions with the class... haha den the lantern festival... mm... LOL...
casting aside some of the things now. den i realized. perhaps i'm less emo abt it den i tot i was... and i'm glad i made that decision... whenever i look back and tink abt the happy times, i will smile, until i go on, and i realized it's always piled on by the dark, being crushed. tinking of it at tyms is actually fonder. i knew i made mistakes, but, i realized i stopped apologizing after that incident. was it a mistake to even drag it on for so long? i wonder if anitin was learnt? was it worse or better? and ultimately, when it all traced back, all that happened was actually my fault. i'm saying all this not cause i'm still clinging on. no i'm don't animore. perhaps i nv ever cling on. perhaps all that i was clinging on to was mere, vague, and doubtful memories. i'm saying all these because it was the truth. blame it on my childish and naive mindset.
it's not that we didn't try. i guess i weren't persevering enough. or perhaps i just didn't wan to persevere on animore. there was too little faith, too little trust, too little of everything, just too much of trips. i'm afraid of gettin hurt, of pain, and i gave up after tripping for a while. i guessed i just weren't ready yet. and none was. at least i tink i learnt. but i'm afraid i may have implicated innocence.
let's see what else the world can do.
--I Need a Nap--
12:06 PM
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Sunday, September 02, 2007
ok... here for an update...
had a hectic week, in prep for teacher's day... mon was stayin back to study with the rest... had fun doin so, and learned... tue, studied a little, den saw ivy the bitch and went home with her... wed after sch, we set up the booth... actually did nth much but sittin thr... all of us were doin our own stuff... song sue and i even drifted away, till we got materials to help make the rocher bouquets... and tt's wat happened on thurs too, and aftertt, rushed down to yingjing hse to help make sushi, in the end, they were doin the packin ler... den rushed to ivy hse, realized that her vinegar expired, bought one bt not sushi vinegar, cab down yingjing hse to take, den make... wanna make for CRC cos he's the teacher both of us noe... den thought it wuld seem very delibrate since nt realli enough to make for rest... esp for her, since CSH was her phy teacher and CRC not teachin her at all... in the end, we decided to give what we made to our friends... haiz... reached home at abt 12.30, slept at abt 3
fri... arrived in sch, was late by 1/2 hr... was supposed to be in sch by 6.30 but i woke at 6, 1/2 hr later den supposed... den went set up booth... treat BU5 members the sushi, gave out the flowers, den back to booth again before runnin to the dance... HAHA!!! had realli lots of fun before goin back... J1s was to be headin back, but was forced to go to the hall as well, while i stayed at the booth!!! haha... downside is that i went back late.. slashed prices towards the end... haha... in fact i used most of the free time to make a bookmark for miss liong , out of waste wires, ribbons and those nice nice papers.... turned out nice =D... haha... gave an bouquet to her and yes, end of the day!...
reached my sec sch, the 1st teacher to met was mrs hon, who immediately demanded for a hug! haha... though in an awkard way, but i wasn't totally affected... guess things just has to pass... den thr were lik, mr lim, mr teo, mrs ang, miss wong, and even hua lao! =X too bad didn't get to see kweh and saz... HAHA... nice day... chatted alot with the teachers and so on... and met many of my friends... den went poolin with yy cs and yw before walkin home... HAHA missed it... so walk walk walk, with the two long legs ones walkin in front while yy and i strolled behind and chatted... haha... chatted alot... saw ks, waited for thiam boon, den head to ks hse after biddin farewell to yw cs and yy, whr we met up wit the rest (vanee sh, yj, jh)... played mahjong with thiam boon and ks while the rest watched a very disgustin show,. "slither"... i onli watched a few scenes and was on the verge of vomittin... had dinner blah blah... den slp b4 went home...
woke late till at abt 1+ today, watched bleach ep 138 b4 headin to study... did studied, managed to finish a few chpts of great ex and understood all the concepts taught in phy... fell aslp halfway though =X... ate and took a long walk in popular... enjoyed it... was browsing thru a section of books for older children/younger teenagers when i chance across this book with one sentence per page type... haha.... read it, and was reminded of the days when i wuld follow my guardian to the market every mornin and read the books(secretly without buyin=x) at the bookshop while waitin for her to come back frm the trip... haha... was always very captivated by the stories, and was doubly interested cos of the cute monkey... lol... walked ard, and saw those shelves sellin stuff specially for teachers' day... great time lookin thru and hand-itchin with the products =x...
went for a drink with ks after tt... LOL.. long tym since we last drank? talked a lot... i talked a lot... lol... though got a bit seh afterthat LOL...
just missin the days...
--I Need a Nap--
12:58 PM
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