Friday, October 26, 2007
ok... i just wanna update a bit...
mon had basketball comp... no no i weren't involved... was just helpin out at the frisbee... S25 sent angela, fangming, ruiyu, weekheng, wingkin, zhangfan, zikang... and they got in second! first was A01, with weijian in it =S... mai siao siao ex jyss bb cap lehz... LOL... cnt help but smile at the way they behave after they won... thr is tis nice atmosphere lar, everyone was playing as a class, with us the supporters by the side... was touched by the attachment i felt at that moment of time... really nice feeling~
afterthat, became very busy again... think i'm waving a big goodbye to my holidays... eclub got bazaar coming up, den there's the yunnan trip and the O1 (hopefully i'll be in it)... + i need to work on my studies as well...
went for O1 interview ytd, and ok, just talk, and hopefully i will just pass it... den com I/C meeting today, not bad, but realize that there is still a lot of things which i still need to consider... joined S25 for a brief moment of badminton, realized my skills are still as sucky as ever, lunched with them and went to helga hse with ba zhang... afterwhich, they left for cine, while i left for pitstop with vanee mich jiahao and claudia... HAHA long tym since we last went out... laugh and laugh and laugh, esp at the game of the fruits one??? spent sum tym lookin for our old photo, and yada yada yada... drifted home =D
glad... very very glad... but the worry is disturbing... i cnt rest, till it's cfm... most of them got by... i'm glad... and worried... of whether the worst will come next yr... one was nt saved... bt at least he is strong about it... one is, still on the line... no definite ans is given yet... and i'm hatin the wait...
might be better for him in terms of results if he didn't go by... bt at the same tym, ppl in his position will have a lot more things that is nt easy to let go...
i rmb that mdm mak's "you were chosen because of your results" had always been a mark in mi... -ve impact... not that i nv expect it to happen... it's that, the fact that she put it so bluntly is a bit hurtful... i was young and naive den... and i was lik, everyone noe that i'm nt the best person for the job, bt if i were to be chosen, i wan to be chosen cos the teachers realli tink tt i'm capable of doin it... W and Y was so much better den mi... more suitable for the post, the post of a vice-head prefect, which i held... they are definitely better leaders... but now, thinkin back, i'm glad that they took things lik results into consideration... if not, how will thay feel, when after they contributed so much, bt is forced to stripped off their posts?
for all of us, it had not been easy handling the news that came... yet thr was nth we can do abt it... two of our comrades, leaving us... sad, and depressed... i dun even noe wat i culd hv done... i dun even noe wat i culd hv said... at tt point of tym, nth we said culd hv helped... nt as if they weren't warned... bt in the end...
half my mind hope that he wun get by... half my mind hope that he will... cos, cos, i've to admit, i hv no confidence in him... that he will work hard... den ultimately, he is the one who will suffer at the end of a lvls, and get upset of it...
i'm nt upset cos they cnt get by... i'm upset cos they're upset... it's very hurtful to see someone you care about being upset and down... bt, lik angela sae, it's better to be sad tis yr den be sad nxt yr... hope that, they will be able to understand tis...
i realli hate goin thru tis... bt, how much can i do? do i realli have the strength to support them, and the ability to convince them to study? or will i fall 1st, even before they fall?
--I Need a Nap--
11:44 PM
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Tuesday, October 23, 2007
WOO~~~ back to update on the camp!!!
Wed - met up in LN, and crowded ard the window to watch our teachers play soccer! LOL... den, went to draw water and carry the tables and chairs to the ops room b4 we met up with the facs in the hall and had cheers, games and mass dance!!! HAHA played crocodile and the squirrels thingy... and for mass dance i danced with bing xiang! haha not bad... got to enjoy myself though i dun realli noe some of the dances well... bt i manages to catch up for most of the parts =D... aftertt, had briefin b4 we went down for our dinner... We den procceed to LT3 for song singing session and cheers! by then my throat oready damn high ler =x haha and watched a very nice movie, dunno wat the name... at 1st tot i will slp lor! cos tot is those very sian movie... bt turned out quite funny... nt exactly one with a fantasy ending, for the female lead died, bt the ending of the story was generally good... i tink the councillors only got to eat when we're watchin the movie =s... aftertt, closed LT3 while the council had a meetin... bathed b4 gatherin at the LN for another meeting, mainly to give out leaders tee... joined the rest of the log com for the avac set up after it... and all decided to wake up early the nxt day for the meeting instead of doin the briefin at night =x
Thurs - woke at 4.40 next morning, 20min earlier den the supposed wake up time (5.00)... brushed my teeth, kept my slpin bag, comb my hair, walkin to and fro the LN several times... to realize the rest still slpin =s... dun dare wake them up cos i slept the earliest i tink =x... went back hall to wait, b4 yufeng and junhao joined mi at 5.30... den go wake the rest up with junhao... den learn all the stuff and started playin music... den everyone wake up and started to cheer... den i tink i very strange cos in my area onli mi cheerin =s... haha too high bo bian =x while waiting for campers to arrive, we had mass dance in the hall... HAHA i tried the guy's part and realize i suck even more at it... bt had fun lar! den the campers come!!! woo!!! AND I SAW ZHAO HUI AKA WONG BEAR BEAR'S BROTHER!!! wah! nv expect to see him sia LOL! den play play play b4 go move tables again =s... and set up pool! i 1st tym help set up... not bad quite fun... but sian in the end did not get to play... den went back into the hall and saw them with mass dance! haha saw ken and grace too... danced a little with shengyong while ken and grace danced too! haha felt very guilty + shengyong still had sumtin and so after tt song (pump it) we went back to whr we shld be... went to help open up LT3 for night's session... thr were sum probs in between la... bt in the end ok... set up avac in grandstand for telematch and play music... got scared by sum idiot =s... went carried laptop and stuff to lt3 with neusyhan and elwin and tried settin up... den realize we all dunno so ask yufeng come b4 i go back grandstand with elwin... and went down to help games com with clearin log b4 headin hall to find the rest... headed down to lt3 and realize got sum probs... managed to settle most of it thx to yufeng's avac knowledge, and the song singing session went on with minimum probs... aftertt, moved everything back to the hall again for the night games... ran with sum of the groups and while passin sum stuff to xiaobo... after the nightgames, clear up and had debrief b4 goin to slp...
Fri - wanted to wake at 5 but woke at 5.30 instead... culdn't realli open my eyes=x... play music, and join in the mornin cheers... there was PT and this talk on keepin fit... tried my hands on video-camin... and realized i'm nt realli suited for the job, nt cos i'm too short bt mainly cos i had no feel... take photos i can lar, can take artistic ones even but video is a bit erm... off lar... helped to blow the balloons... den blah blah blah, the hall cleared... and the crazy people, consistin of mi, neusyhan, elwin, juenkiat, junjie, laixing started singing... mainly the boys lar... and H.I.M. was formed!!! i forgot who exactly, onli noe tt the way they were acting as if they were testin their mics were damn funny... 1st tym i see the log com so high lor! normally other than idiot who is mainly with scdc, i was the onli one who will be high and cheer de... even had a log com food cheer b4 our lunch... HAHA not bad nice nice... den they had mass dance again lol bt i didn't join in this tym T.T... mass dance was lengthened, started movin things up to the grandstand for kinetic warfare, and set up everything... luckily fast enuff... and tis tym, shengyong and i were supposed to be playin the music... and got feel a bit of stress... cos realli need to noe a lot of fast music and cnt let music stop for a sec... must play stimultanously =s... tt means cnt dream... and i tink i gt a lot of pause in between =s... and i worry if i gt get ani of the log com council or shengyong into trouble or not =s... den aftertt, got to move the whole avac system to the back of LT5 for the briefin after the water games thr... =s... wit onli elwin neusyhan and shengyong or clement... managed to set it up bt again thr was prob while xinyi was tryin to speak... den moved it back to the hall and helped with the mad night... felt very useless at 1st cos cnt help much... den went stackin the chairs and all tt neatly by the side and clearin up the place... den helped juenkiat with avac... got a little prob during rehearsal bt managed to sort it out... and the night went on quite smoothly... was generally nice lar, with the dancin all tt... credits to scdc and those guys who volunteered to help and join us for the night... managed to join in the song singing a little, then thr's this thx giving sessions for those whom we wanna thanks... realli wanted to thx a lot of ppl... den realize i felt very strange with it... aniway had debriefs, clearin up b4 slpin tym...
Sat - woke, ltr den most campers... washed up, and started wit the avac system... then thr was mornin PT, with impromtu mass dance! was trying to dance with neusyhan, den i dunno guys part again... so i danced with yuansheng while neusyhan dance with junjie i tink... den after hall cleared, we started clearing up the place as well... started getting ready for final song singing session... got a bit emo la... den wait till campers left, had final debrief and cleared up the place... settled the avac equips b4 joinin them for the mass dance!!! danced a little with Jonathan and cos got ivy infront backfacin mi, i manage to noe most of it... cos i realize i nt so confused abt it's which side liao =x=x=x sense of direction nt very good =x=x=x HAHA den wait for the councillors, cleared up the rest and went makan! HAHA...
through this camp realli learnt alot lar... frm the councillors... and saw another side of sum of my friends la... 1st tym i see wk under stress... 1st tym i see him depressed... 1st tym i see the serious side of yufeng... and realize tt he actually know how to take realli good care for the people around him and is very responsible... so on so on so on
wanted to continue... the entry above was typed ytd bt i didn't post cos i wanted to add in the basketball part... but totally no mood now... 1st time... i see the vunerable side of the person... and the way this person pretends to be ok... laughing, jokin, playin... worried... worried about how many more of them will be lik tis... all i can do is to turn away and pretendin that i never see, tryin not to cry and adds on to the burden... i'm not even strong enough to support tt person... or anyone... all tt i can do is to cry alongside... i cannot even comfort them... every yr this same thign happens again and again... and i cant sae anitin to them as well... i'm afraid to sae anitin tt might upset them even more... SHIT LAR... I SERIOUSLY HATE THIS SHITTY STUFF... AgAin agaIn AND AGAiN... Damn LAR...... SHLD HAVE STARTED EARLIER... AND DRAG THEM WITH MI... IF I NOE HOW TO BE WORRIED FOR MYSELF... WHY DIDN"T I TINK OF THEM FIRST? AND STARTS AND DRAG THEM? MAYBE THEY WILL FOLLOW... MAyBE THEY WILL STILL BE OK NOW... DAMN IT LAR!!! I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT!!! NOT AS IF I DUN NOE THEY HAD NT BEEN DOIN WELL>... WHY NV DRAG THEM WITH M??? WAT"S THE USE OF RANTIN HERE NOW???
I HATE IT HERE
--I Need a Nap--
7:48 PM
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Monday, October 15, 2007
ok back... wanted to update earlier but didn't realli have the time...
k, here's the promos mood as promised... one thing: depressed. how not to after being demoralised so much by so many subjects? HOWEVER, i tink i still fared ok after seing my results.
H2:
Maths: k, as usual, due to my very quick brain, i onli finish 50% of the paper. + ok, to be honest, i didn't put in a lot of effort, thus nt very familiar with it. in fact even went for a birthday before the paper. tink i ownself tink too much, cos too nervous? ans ming ming correct tink is wrong, do 3 times with 3 diff ways get same ans still tink is wrong, AND CANCELLED THE WORKING. WOO! but ok, i got 43/50, which is a lot better den i expected.
Phy: alright, didn't realli practice lots of qns, but got copy definitions all tt, and got 48.3/100 (P1 - 24/40 / P2 - 34 / 80), which i tink is better den expected =x
Chem: SPENT MOST TIME ON IT AGAIN, most confident, only make a lot of careless mistakes, which caused my marks to be much lower den i expected (P2 - 43/80, dunno about P1) alright i passed anyway
H1:
GP: k the paper was easy, + everyone tio moderate up, and i got better den expected: 56/100 (P1 - 26/50 - quite expected but good considering i only wrote for less then 2 sides of a paper/ P2 - 30/50 - much better den expected) ok this promos taught me one thing: realli tink of wat must write. dun refuse to write cos u tink it's junk. cos i wrote junks for p2 and got quite high =D
Chi: apparently didn't do quite well tis time, bt kinda expected. got 108/160, B
Lit: As very very expected, i did not pass, but the marks were better den expected. my teacher culdn't pass me cos AS USUAL, there are too much questions which I DID NOT COMPLETE. 22/50
ok... was very demoralised after my papers, cos were worried abt doin too badly in math, phy and lit that i cnt even pass overall (i need 30+% to do so), and scared tt i did not do well enuff for chem to pass overall (i need 60+%), and if i dun get at least one H2 pass and two H1 pass, i cnt be promoted =s. nt so worried abt gp n chi la.. aniway i worry too much... and the irony is that for these 4 subs which i had been very worried abt, those that i failed get better den expected and the only one which i passed(chem) was worse den expect =s=s=s
more worried abt sum ppl... i tink i realli hate this period of tym... u noe tt sum of ur friends will be leavin, yet u cnt do anitin abt it... realli wonder how the foreigners manage... i'll flood if i'm gonna study overseas for so mani yrs and leaving my beloved ppl here...and the fact is that u wun get to see each other often.... is very depressing... =s... i teared when one of my friends said that she passed... guess tt day i too emo... both chuas may not be joinin us nxt yr... in fact one of the chuas cfm ler... and suddenly i realized one of ppl ard mi whom i'm worried abt might be promoted... tt kind of feelin is realli, touched? it's a very nice feelin, realli...
aniway promos over, tot can have a break. well, did enjoy myself for the whole weekend HAHA... + mon oso(pool)... HOWEVER, we got to start to plan for the post exams camp and get ready for the yunnan trip! LOL okok, tink it'll be fun la... afterall, i've always enjoyed doin such things, but in juying of course... it'll be very different here... to be honest, part of the reason why i wan to be involved is cos i wan to experience it... the feeling again... however, i realised tt it will be realli different... i'm affect nt by the difference in management and so on... bt more by, my own barrier?
i realize i'm very scare of being alone. but at the same tym, i dun lik to initiate conversations with many people. cos i dunno wat to sae aniway. i'm nt exactly a fun person, just an overly high person. those who noe mi well enuff knows that, and i'm very comfortable around them cos i can be high... but those whom i just noe... will feel tt i'm siao? ok la i m la bt, might scared them... and i will thus be very uncomfortable... is it i tink too much again?
aniway glad that i'm in logistic, not in some place where i dun tink i will have anione to chat wit. there's tis idiot(yufeng =x=x=x), neusyhan, laixing, vivian, elwin, that i interacted with and can talk de, esp with idiot and neusyhan =D... i feel lik, tryin to fit into a place i dun belong to when i tried dancin today. and i was right in front, everyone was movin, while i stoned for the 1st few mins... i tink juen kiat felt no diff dancing with mi frm dancin with the chair... i tried to learn, and ok, i managed to catch a bit, bt still, realize i'm not a very fast learner for such things... so i retired and let juen kiat dance with elwin, b4 elwin ran off and he dance with tt chair again =x... i'm still glad that i'm in logistics, sumtin which i tink i m very comfortable in, and i realize i m realli of sum use to the com... ok i'm nt steppin out of my comfort zone. i will try ba.
anyway, went to watch resident evil with angela helga ah-gong-leong and junda on thurs... LOL fun watchin with them lor! LOL... aftertt met up with drew and ibee go eat fish and co... nice! i hardly tink fish and chips nice de lor! thanks ar andrew... HAHA 3 of us chatted lots... LOL... met val yj sh and val's bf coincidentally LOL... den ytd went celebrate dajie b'day... LOL 1st k box, bt dajie nt thr.. got mi mich KAIYING(haha i was shock she went =x) vanee and jh.. HAHA sang with my very high throat(i dun mean pitch)... but fun! HAHA... den mit up with dajie and est... HAHA wanted to pool at cck bt thr ex... so went je LOL... and pool till home sweet home
ANYWAY, GOT ONE VERY BIG THING TO ANNOUNCE. I'M FINALLY GONNA LEARN PIANO!!!! frm Miss Wong KY!!! LOL... after so long? and i'm finally gonna learn it... and i realli became her 1st student as promised long ago!!! LOL!!! SO EXCITED!!! ARGH!!! LOL!!! and i'm gonna save for it!!! WOOT!~
--I Need a Nap--
10:55 PM
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Sunday, October 07, 2007
LOL had a great time.
I'm feeling so damn happy now that i'm gonna leave my update about my "promos mood" to some other day LOL.
gonna blog about the est b'day, lantern nite and the previous two nights.
HAHA let's talk abt est b'day + lantern nite
after studying, went to kaiying hse with vanee jiahao peishan and ivy for steamboat on the lantern nite itself to celebrate est bday which falls on the 25th LOL... with ivy the siao char bo crazy over the "water baby" LOL... made mi laugh till i was crying LOL... 1st tym we go kaiying hse celebrate birthday was on her own birthday with 7/8 bytches (without claudia) LOL... haha realli had fun... with all the cold jokes that made the soup refuse to boil and all the funny stuff we were doing HAHA... den, went to join the boys to celebrate lantern festival LOL... wanted to cab down de HAHA... den realize i dun have much money on mi LOL... aniway met up with ceyu chunsern clinton joel tingwei yewwah yuyong and sum unknown person... LOL as usual, played with fire HAHA... no bombs this year though HAHA... den... join them for basketball... LOL played sum shootin game and was the 1st to lose... keep on airball =s... HAHA with cs as the winner of the day... LOL... simple, but at least i got to meet up with them LOL...
HAHA now let's talk about friday night.
IT WAS AH GONG'S BIRTHDAY!!! LOL! HAPPY 17TH AH GONG! lol anyway, met up at kallang with our main char mr cheng wee leong, fangming yongtao helga shenrong wuzhou zhangfan and went for the korean bbq... LOL the food was nice lar! haha... the onli difference about the food is... i'm not sure haha... we were eating till our faces turned apple(red)... LOL! afterwhich, helga and zhangfan left 1st, while the rest of us went to east coast park! haha... wanted to play sparkles, but the wind was too big... spoilt my project... lol it was not nicely made anyway... haha den we went down the water and wrote on the sand LOL... den thr's these two freaks who was tryin to scare me! haha den play and play till we go home LOL
LOL now, time for last night (it's 7th oct 2007, 2.32 am when i typed this)
HAHA went to bbq at ky hse LOL to celebrate 3 of our birthday (peishan yewwah and me)... LOL was told to wear that dress(? called dress?) they bought for mi for my competititon the other time (vanee's right... if not i will never wear it even in my next life =x... haha will try to find chance to wear it =D)HAHA met up with vanee jiahao kengsiang and ceyu... WAH CEYU WAS PRO LOR... he missed the bus we were on... kengsiang was pointin middle finger at him-_-, i was slow-ing, vanee and jiahao was on the second floor(kp-ing)... and no one asked the uncle to stop =s... AND HE RAN TO THE SECOND NEXT BUSSTOP... AND MANAGED TO GET ON TO THE SAME BUS WITH US... wah pro rite? LOL... head towards kaiying's hse, to meet up with michelle peishan and esther... HAHA the food came and all of us went down for the bbq LOL... and we felt the lack of edwin and yuxuan LOL... anyway, chunsern yuyong and yewwah came... LOL! so rare! LOL realli thanks! and ceyu and kengsiang managed to set up the fire successfully!!! LOL pro!!! haha and the bbq begins... HAHA must thank mich and vanee for buyin the food LOL... just nice! haha.. den mich and est left early... est didn't get to eat her satay... LOL next time bah... so as a normal bbq go, it's just cooking and eating with lots of jokes and laughter! LOL... in the end, after clearin up, we played with the charcoal =X (forgot to bring down sum water to extinguish it)... and i burnt my big toe with yewwah's socks burning hot (nt sure if there was fire)...
den i decided to open the present from chunsern yewwah and yuyong... they were talking abt it that i tot that it was something like a jack-in-the-box that is scary and decided to open thr(at least thr are people around)... and realise... it was two cabbages!!! LOL so cute of them!!! i was laughing lik hell lor! damn la LOL... and of course, it's chun sern's idea! LOL! wow realli it was the most memorable birthday present i recieve... even more memorable than the two rackets... they realli made my day LOL... den went up to ky hse and cut cake (yewwah, the oldest, did it) after we made our wishes and blow the candles LOL... haha watched tv and and played piano with peishan and kaiying... OMG secret's OST so nice! hah too bad i dunno how to play... LOL den we headed home, with jiahao yuyong yewwah chunsern and mi going for a drink(thanks ceyu for the drinks ar) LOL... drank and chatted... a form of birthday present for yewwah LOL... den of course, home sweet home LOL...
must realli thanks everyone... those who went for all these birthdays (not just mine), outings and those who had encouraged my throughout my promos... HAHA realli thanks... LOL... sumtyms, it's as simple as just as sms or a presence the friends that will make a person happy and delighted... LOL so, realli thanks...
--I Need a Nap--
3:06 AM
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