mon... phy p2, so so, lunched wit yf b4 headin to take a nap in lib... woke, studied a while, home, eat, slp... the lifestyle of a pig... mich i'm gonna become your daughter le... today had maths, totally sian diao... how come i can nv practise for some topics and still can do them but those which i practised for, i can't? DAMN LAR... settled teachers' day stuff, went lib and met vanee zh lx cs n his friend... didn't feel lik studyin so chatted wit lx n zh, all the way till i went home... i tink vanee even more hardworkin den mi lor =s...
recently haven been slpin well... wakin up in the middle of the night...
anyway, today is the 26th... not that i nv realised, but tis number does not realli have much impact on me le, so bro u can stop dsiao-ing me on it... it's a past
been tinkin a lot about religion, birth/ marriage rate, future, studies, existence, worthiness, emotions, dramas, being practical, purpose and generally life...
so, practically, one leads to another...
and, i tink ppl can skip my next part of the entry, cos its just gonna be some thoughts which i just wanna talk abt, and i have no guarantee itsll be interesting for all
sometimes i wish that i can blog whenever i have a new trend of thought or emotions, but i get too lazy to type... in the 1st place, wat is the purpose of bloggin? i tink, it's cos thr're certain things which ppl just will not tell everyone by the mouth, things that are usually not topics of a conversation, but things which people just want to rant and talk about somewhere, and when u noe it's nt gonna be an interestin topic, u blog abt it...
for mi, it is also a way for mi to rmb what has happened... i may not blog about all the details, but generally, i can recall everything that happened on that day just knowing a single thing that i've done that day... also, blog is in a way, i've realised nt long ago, a world of my own... although i still need to watch what i say, but still i can vent as much as i wan here...
anyway, to start off with something more current... teacher's day prep... mm was chattin with lx and zh abt teachers... and i was tinkin which are the teachers which i'll put in effort for, even if sometimes laziness overcome me, but i will try to be better for these teachers... haha yea i know of some... i wun start stating names, cos not very good for those whose name are not stated... just to name few, will be mr wee, mr chua lek hong, mrs ho lau and mr choo
just wanna talk abt mr choo... he is one of the nicest teacher, whom i truly respect... thruout the whole yunnan trip, he was the one in the middle of us and the higher lvl, the person who tries his best to help us with everything, and the one who realli accompanied us thruout our planning process, not just givin us big and fanciful ideas without thinkin thru, but got involved and know about our side of problems as well... even helped the log com to buy the luggage... while he intervened to ensure everything goes well, he gave us enough space to plan on our own, and taught us thru givin advices and experiences, and not enforcin ideas, and trusted us... maybe it's cos we're his 1st batch of leaders, and maybe cos he also dun realli enjoy the politics... he really put in a lot of effort for the trip...
a lot of ppl sae he still cmi in terms of leadership trainin, but i think, different ppl have different expectations... i know that he can be a bit too lenient at times, but sometimes it's such teachers that is so good, and you know they tries to understand your problem before lashing at you, that's why it makes you less willing to let them down... of cos, not everyone think of it that way... well, to me, he's just a very good teacher... we went to his hse, and i didn't even know he went out to fetch his gf over (of cos, some of the rest know), and just left us thr, flipping thru his cd rack, playing with his electronic organ and stuff liddat... this show how much he trusts us... i mean, no, i dun expect all teachers to do that, i know it's always impt to draw the line so that ppl will not forget that you are a teacher and climb over your head... i just feel that he's very good and nice, even friends wun do that... and i tink his gf must be a very nice person too lol...
not just nice, if you know how he works and what he's done, u have to admit he's good... i seriously didn't even know that ppl can be buey song abt a teacher lik him until i heard abt it today, with someone who doesn't scold until he feels that it is the limit... misunderstanding? and i tink that explains why he's so disheartened when he sees that we still lack discipline after the whole trip... perhaps tt's y, some of the more senior teachers have given up... so, actually, i just want to say, sorry.
and who is worth ur care and concern? i tink sec sch mates are most of the time ur best buds for life... in sec sch, where we mould our char, influence between us and our sec sch mate played a huge part, and we can accept each other's nonsensical habit and behaviour better, and perhaps that's why we can behave as how we like to infront of our sec sch mates and know that, ok they might mind, but they will still be ok and not scared off by us... sumtyms, i tink, y do so much if u know ppl does not appreciate it, or are not true? and i realised, that might be how some teachers feel too...
a lot of emotions and thoughts flooding my mind, but although i dun feel lik slpin yet, i'm actually quite drained to type more...
ytd studied with vanee cs mich yao zh lx, met dickee n may HAHA... aftertt drank with ks... damn i tot he emo sia out of sudden sae want drink =s... we at thr majiam party lar! den ivy "chased" dickee away =x... today with mich vanee cs... and, THANKS DICKEE AKA BOAR (or mich's boar =x)!!! HAHA if nt for his umbrella, i'll be SOAKED HEAD TO TOE... time to invest in one umbrella le =s
cs said i've been very kp recently in my blog... mm yea i realised tt too... exam stress? mm...
realised tt i'm very fake... ming ming dun feel good abt tt person still act friendly... but come to think of it, actually most of the time, i just cnt accept how some of the ppl acts towards certain stuff, and i have expectations for ppl... i'm ok with the person as a person, but i'm not ok with certain stuff he/she does... and besides, being unfriendly towards each other sumtyms make things even worse
such thoughts arises and made mi decided to blog though i feel lik slpin now, is cos i was chattin with est, wit her askin mi abt goin back for teachers' day, and i was lik tellin her to go... den i tink abt wat we've done and all, and i feel so... fake... i'm sure she knows, the details of our outins splashed all over our blogs and all the pics we've taken, includin the one i'd put as my dp as i was chattin with her... the fact tt she asked mi, made mi feel alot... lik she've expected and accepted all tis, and dun even blame us for leavin her out... and i wonder how she realli feels when she spoke to me... did she feel, upset, or anitin?
i culdn't realli accept her change esp in her use of language, and the coldness when i talk to her, but just now when i spoke to her i was lik, she still sounds the same as before the change... maybe is cos she reacts differently to diff ppl, and tt's y her blog is liddat... he told mi she drew a line on the floor... and i'm wonder if things can get back to how it was... but even if we tried, it wuld also be odd rite? she noes wat's goin on, we still have the barrier, and even if we tried, will things REALLY be ever the same again?
perhaps she was just tryin to blend in with her current friends, or perhaps she had always been liddat, just that we didn't realli realised until these friends came abt and opened another side of her... i mean, she had always been image and brand concious, not that we didn't know... and, it's lik, she didn't realli do anitin extremely bad to me... i'm not sure how she feels if she saw all the blog posts about our outins, unless she never reads them
sumtyms seperation from ppl is good... cause when u miss a person, u'll onli rmb the good stuff... even the bad stuff, will also become sometin memorable tt ppl can joke abt sumtyms... bt when sumtin happens and ppl dun get to meet each other, it may also become hard to resolve wat happens...
LOL this song is a perfect emo song
Whatever It Takes - Lifehouse
A strangled smile fell from your face It kills me that I hurt you this way The worst part is that I didn't even know Now there's a million reasons for you to go
But if you can find a reason to stay
I'll do whatever it takes To turn this around I know what's at stake I know that I've let you down And if you give me a chance Believe that I can change I'll keep us together whatever it takes
She said "If we're gonna make this work" "You gotta let me inside even though it hurts Don't hide the broken parts that I need to see" She said "Like it or not it's the way it's gotta be"
"You gotta love yourself if you can ever love me"
I'll do whatever it takes To turn this around I know what's at stake I know that I've let you down And if you give me a chance And give me a break I'll keep us together, I know you deserve much better
But remember the time I told you the way that I felt That I'd be lost without you and never find myself Let's hold onto each other above everything else Start over, start over
I'll do whatever it takes To turn this around I know what's at stake I know I've let you down And if you give me a chance Believe that I can change I'll keep us together, whatever it takes
--I Need a Nap--
12:59 AM
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Saturday, August 23, 2008
okok usual commentary, sunday studied with vanee mich claud zh lx, watched table tennis... woo silver medal for sg! LOL... although... bt nvm!
mon chem p3... usual la, cnt finish... den studied with yao claud mich... watched national day rally... tue studied with claud mich yao lx zh... wed had phy p2 in the mornin... well, quite manageable... went to eat mac breakfast with da helga n ken! THE FEELIN DAMN SHIOK lol... my pepper spree! =x den ken n helga mugged while da and i was just starin, with da playin with the honey =s... and ya, lit paper... CHIO! i managed to complete 2 full essays! though i dunno how good i've written, but i very happy ler... normally can onli complete 1 full essay and the rest will just hang dere without much stuff... COOL LAR!!! haha... den aftertt hang abt in sch to print some stuff, den went to my guardian's hse to slack =x... thurs studied with yao claud mich vanee lx zh yf... dinner with yf n aaron aftertt
TODAY... ok chem p2... tink quite gg, but very happy cos those i nv do is realli dunno how to do...met van mich yao lx zh after i settled the class photo.. COOL LAR THEY'RE OUT!!! HAHA... den we girls were completin the present, and we were so damn high abt it lar!!! i esp like the equation!!! lol must show leslie =x... sth was damn disappointin... anyway, mi mich vanee met ky for pizza hut and passed her the prezzie! AND LOL LAR, i was damn full and was laughin till i wanted to vomit de stuff out =s... aftertt, studied a little n gym with cck and home
EXTREMELY DISAPPOINTED... to the extent tt i realli felt lik losin my temper... heng she was thr to take it frm mi... all of us, well at least the few, spent so much effort on it, wantin it to turn out well, to make it special... wat is realli realli so damn impt? comeon la, not lik it was 2 ends of sg... not even a ride la... damn pek cek... even other ppl done better... damn... and u know well enough tt i hardly get pek cek tt i wanna shout at u... which i wuld have done if i didn't pass it to her
sometimes, it's nt tt u cnt, it is whether u have the heart to go n do it... n when u noe ppl are waitin, at least give ppl a valid explanation... ppl put in so much effort to plan, and u know it was the last day, and it's not lik everytime... [will they really not understand if u explain it to them? it's not like we're gonna lock u up for the whole day... we just need a short while...]-edited 24th aug, 12.02am it's just a matter of choice... comeon lar, IT WUN TAKE MUCH TIME to at least complete wat u shld, or rather, WHAT YOU'VE SAID YOU WULD... dun tell mi things lik i'm demandin too much or wat... AND YOU KNOW I DUN EXPECT MUCH... i'm ok with not doin much... not all helped with de decor, and went to meet up, bt at least all gave what they're supposed to, and u promised beforehand... and kept everyone waitin, and brushed it off with one line... AND MOST IMPTLY, IT'S NOT JUST FOR ANYONE
if u realli tink it was accusations, i rather u explain properly than tink tt we wun understand, i tink we'll feel better also, tt it is not just one fake line to u...
very tired ler... anyway, song for the day:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO WONG BEAR BEAR, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!
and
天空 - 蔡依林 (ky, if u're readin tis, we wanted to put in the album to dsiao u de =x)
12:53 AM
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Sunday, August 17, 2008
k, usual commentary 1st
ytd went to sch in the morning to print some stuff, den decided to wait for meiling jie since i'm in sch oready... and she was late... haha decided to leave, den i saw her at sch gate! and she became so much slimmer and all la!!! so pretty! lol so stayed in sch and chatted with the few of them and looked through her photos, includin some which she uploaded to her blog... and menghan was so funny la! he was hungry, and there were photos of very good food!!! anyway aftertt, went home before goin to meet yf at je to pass him notes, wanted to study de... BUT I WAS DAMN LATE... paiseh!!! so by the time i can start studyin it was lik, 4.30? and i have to leave je at abt 5.30? so we went to the arcade instead =x... i was damn noob la =x...
aftertt met up wit ps and headed for ky's hse... FOR STEAMBOAT... actually come to think of it, everytime we wanna celebrate b'day, ky's one seems to be the one with the least possible surprises... simply becos most of the tym, our celebrations are in her hse... lol bt wat matters is, we make her feel loved, right ky? =x... OH YA... SINGAPORE WON A MEDAL!!! feng jia wei is so cool lar!!! WOOT!!! though i'm nt exactly a sports person, bt we shld support sg rite? so cool lar!!! haha... den steamboat-ed... ate ate ate, den somehow, we began to sit on the floor of the kitchen while we chatted =s... lol den we continued in the room, wit raymond eavesdroppin on us LOL... ok nvm, when some of them went to play with the hamsters, yao, vanee, ps n i preped the cake.. and suay suay ky walked into the kitchen =s... so, no more surprise even in terms of the timing =s haha... so usual, our birthday song n photo takin session... got zhao hui(our eye candy =x=x=x) to take photos as well LOL! claudia keep on dsiao =s... claud, mich n ivy left shortly after as yao need to go n mit les, leavin mi, vanee n ps wit ky... and siao... all four of us decides to take "couple" shots with zhao hui... vanee made mi n zhaohui laugh n laugh uncontrollablly, till i cnt stand properly or hold the cam properly... didn't know how ky n ps managed to be so calm haha... den we all agree, ky, who's the one who's most impossible to be wit zhaohui, looks most lik a real couple with him LOL... laughed till very tired =x... go home n slept
today studied with vanee, mich, claud, drew, yao, les... quite a big grp, but as we were sittin quite far frm each other in small grps, we weren't talkin alot... the fat prata man damn pms la, n his prata is like rubber which drips oil =s... we all miss mich's eye candy sia =s.... lol dine wit tm, jh, van n ps(who didn't eat) b4 i went back wit ps to study as well as guide her on integration... n tryin to make her share my love and affection for math, tellin her to try to appreciate its beauty and tt it's actually very handsome =x... lol bt well, i'm waitin for her blog post on maths... n, good luck for ur pg module=s... n try nt to overslp le k?
didn't sleep very well last nite...
was talkin to her abt it the other day, den i found out even more... i tink, it's nt tt they dun lik it, it's jus tt, maybe they feel very little attachment to it? maybe lik wat she says, they tink it's nt matured enough or sth... and i'm shocked... cos i tot one n the other person were quite close... in fact, they are realli considered quite close... bt even the friendship wit tt other person cnt pull tt one thr? or is thr other underlyin reasons? or like wat she said, cos of an aim? i admit, i myself dun realli feel the attachment as much, after all tt had happened... or rather, my attachment is stronger to certain parts of it now, bt nt the parts i had used to be stronger to... bt, its nt realli a short period of time, realli nth can draw it back?
or maybe i cnt accept the change... for that one, is actually always been more or less liddat, but nth really bad, except for the late thing... bt i'm more shocked abt one... the change is too rapid tt i cnt realli take it, esp since we used to be quite close... he was tellin me, tt one was the one influencin the other instead of being influence... perhaps disheartened, after understanding too much and knowing nothing much will change? tt its strength is only what it seems to other ppl? maybe... i dunno, n i dunno if i'll ever get to know... time is short, at least, if tt one is realli losin sense and the attachment to it, at least retain the sense to want to get thru n not spendin time on other stuff...
i dunno how to describe how i feel now, after knowing all these... i guess, i seen it long ago, bt i tucked the signs and didn't tink much... char a little similar, i shld've seen thru wat's goin on... bt yet again, even if i noe, wat can i do? changes and changes... while i feel more settled, i see more distance to certain places...
anyway, after meetin up with the bytches and studyin together wit the gang of ppl, i rmb how i used to be nt so close to them, until the o lvls period, and realised how i got so much closer to them after o lvls... HAHA, i tink it's cos of the 3 mths break... and actually, i tink i didn't regret nt goin pae and spendin the time with them... and i realised we got so distinct roles tt whenever we wanna do sth or comment on sth, we'll tink of the same few ppl! for eg, the food ic, andrew! LOL mich was sayin tt she feel so proud to had done all the steamboat prep without drew and it still went well... cos tis time, ky's mum didn't realli help as well haha... bt of cos, we'll always rmb wat drew did to fill our stomach with very yummy self-magrinated food! LOL...
haha, wanted to photoblog again, but not in the mood now... plus it's late, so, ya... another day ba... and wait for peishan to send me her photos 1st...
--I Need a Nap--
1:08 AM
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Thursday, August 14, 2008
eh, ok, i tink last entry i at one shot shoot alot of ppl... nono, nth wrong wit being very thin, shorter den ur gf, and nt knowin martial arts... i admit, was a bit jidong tt time... i only very buey song tt person go and defame her and think thr's nth wrong with him... i seriously dun mind guys who are childish in terms of behaviour and all, u noe, but in terms of treatin a girl when u're in a rs and life itself, even the cdss guys i know does it better den u, and it's not lik ur 1st rs...
k, nvm abt irritating ppl ler... ytd studied with lx and jj after yao left... AND KAO... JJ IS DAMN PRO... manage to solve such an imba qn... salute salute.. and TODAY IS THE TEST... and i tell u, the test is damn easy... and i tell u, i did it damn slowly... and i tell u, i left 29 marks blank... and i tell u, i got 4 marks careless... and i tell u, i can do most of the questions that made me stuck after i walk out of the exam hall... and i tell u, bye, my A for maths paper 1 *依依不舍*... ok so to get A for maths... unless i can get 90% for my paper 2, den i can dream on... and, given me, completing even 80% of it may be a problem... haiz... nvm, jiayou
so aftertt... is a total blur... ran here and there, settle so many accounts and so many money =s... heng class fund got money ler, + just now yf ard, if not dunno how to pay for the photos and the money we owe miss tan for the critical voices sia... den had pizza hut, go lib to try study... cnt take in anitin, so went gym with grace... and we saw mr leow and yihao! lik so omg lar... haha... haiz, aniway alot of ppl so we didn't do much...
i really dunno why... is it tt it's always been tis way, or is it just cos of being very disheartened? tis yr is the impt yr, and the last yr... one yr is nt short... thr're definitely things tt can draw it back rite? nth much is going on ler, fine ler... and shld start to conc ler... why the great change in jus a span of a yr?
just tot abt ppl taking each other for granted... and sometimes i wonder, should a person be sad that he or she is being taken for granted, or happy that you're being taken for granted because you're close to the person? i guess, it's all about limits and expectations... while i feel that some people are taking me for granted, likewise i'm taking some other people for granted... and i may or may not have realised... so, just being a human?
so ytd was gp paper... paper1 was ok, paper2 was killer... aftertt mugged... today went study in the mornin as well
aniway tt's nt the point for my update
FREAKING BASTARD... kao now dunno is who dun wan to give the other person air lor? she also nv say anitin, still recognise tt u've treat her well, sending her home though u live far... ALSO NV SAY BAD STUFF ABT U LEH!!! do u have to put everything up on a forum? twisted somemore! kao u tink u're very good choice for a bf? u shorter den her, so thin lik bones, dunno ani martial arts? give her simi security? both security and height is quite impt to a girl, security especially, she nv mind oready very good le! u? she low blood sugar and iron still say her fat??? u know how hard we girls had tried to force her to eat more anot? and she is not overweight or anything leh, consider quite thin le! ming ming is u who is underweight and lack of nourishment lar! now over le ok... she still dun wan to make things worse, say everything good abt u in her blog, hopin that at least ur can be friends and all... even soften le, ready to give u the chance le... and wat the f*kin hell did u do? print out and rebut every single line... so damn childish can? u wan to move on, den wat abt her? do u have to defame her? she is not trappin u or anithing leh, nt sayin anithing bad abt u or wat... u are the one, doin all sorts of things to defame her, and not givin her air to breathe loh! kao i see ur nick is "deeply hurt" i was still, mm maybe u realli love her alot... den wah... come on lar, u are like, 20 yrs old? still so damn childish?
ok, i also never write any name here. don't think too much k?
anyway, studied with aaron... pathetically in kfc, as libs and study rooms are both not open =s... damn noisy =s... haha nt long, both of us went late and left at abt 5=s... den i went to meet angela, wk n jh at je ctrl station while he went home... fireworks! haha... had dnner 1st, at BK, den went to watch fireworks at singapore flyer... AND I TELL U, IT WAS DAMN SHIOK... 1st time i watch fireworks can sit and walk abt the whole place and no one is ard... and the transportation afterwards gt dan lots of seats sumore lol... haha the fireworks are nice!!! haha ya aaron, i know it's just transition metals doin the work, but u cnt deny they're pretty... the nice part abt it is when u dun get to see it often, and when u do, u're with the rite ppl! lol... AND MILLION THANKS TO THIS CAUCASIAN... we asked him to took a photo of us (we tot the fireworks were over)... he took one normal shot, and den the fireworks came on! and immediately, he shifted and took the photo of us with the firework in the background!!! and the pic was damn nice lar! though it looked fake lol... thanks thanks!!! lol den aftertt... SPENT DAMN LONG TIME WALKIN ABT... thx to? lol den took alot of bus, had vanilla cone at je, all the while chattin, b4 we head home (wk went to meet arron)...
ytd studied with vanee mich n cs... HAHA didn't study long either... lol prata session!!! den today with laixing n zhenghui... today sch hol, lib damn pack, and just nice mich left b4 i came, while aaron was sick -_-... 3 days b4 prelims, better take care ar... so the 3 of us cramped on a cafe table... lol... cnt realli focus =s...
mm... i dunno wat i shld say... just feel very ill-prepared for prelims... u noe, i was tellin vanee, i feel damn shiok after i decided to stop doin phy for the time being and start doin maths tt sat... AND I MEAN SHIOK... doin phy realli makes me damn sian, i dunno why... lit n gp also... bt now, i lik to do chem n maths!!! wah i practically ENJOY doing them lar!!! maybe except for series & sequences, regression & correlation and inorganic chem... LOL =x... nvm, shall try my very, very best...
anyway, i realised exercisin not onli can help slim down, but also make mi more awake!!! i woke at 8 this morn, and i lasted till 6 b4 i took a very short nap! i realised i tend to nap on days which i didn't go for runs...
SO. TML IS THE START OF OUR 3 WEEKS PRELIMS... JJCIANS, ALL THE BEST =D
i'm glad... i dunno if u had managed to tell, bt i'm more at ease, though i pretended not to be... lol... guess, u just most likely had always know mi better den i know u...
anyway, if you're free, come here and rate on them! not just because she's my senior, but also cause of their naturally truthful smiles! haha to me, at least, that is what makes a photo pretty... photos that can capture joy and laughter! and isn't that what makes it memorable?
i tend to think too logically, yet i know i'm not such a person... i based alot on my feelings... and so far, my feelings have not really proven themselves right...
saw her blog rite after i posted my stuff... smiles =D... good decision, jiayou =D
12:37 AM
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Friday, August 08, 2008
08-08-08, a special day
this entry, is to be posted exactly at 23 59, specially dedicated to this day
to some, it's the commence of the Beijing Olympics
to some, it's the eve of the National Day
to some, it's their day of marriage
to some, it's the birth of their children
to some, it's just another day of their busy lives
for me, it's pretty much the same...
today is just another day of my life, where i can repeat what i do every other day... studied, and watched dark knight with angela, emerson and chienhan...
DARK KNIGHT IS A GREAT SHOW... from the beginning till the end... i thought, at first, that it would end too abruptly... but thankfully it didn't... i still feel the same now as i had felt in the cinema hours ago... and thanks for the company guys, i know both of you are tired...anyway, it was just a great show right? it effects, storyline, excitement... really one of the best shows i've watched thus far!
other than this excitement, today is pretty much another day... hanging out with these guys are always fun, not just today, and today is not like the first day of the show either...
i once told yf before, a special date like birthday or mother's day is just another day for you to find an excuse to treat the person a little bit better... it may not apply to everyone, but certainly me... i'm not someone who knows how to express my feelings or gratitude to someone explicitly, and on such special dates, it's an excuse for me to get someone else a present, a message and express my concern...
and this special day, is special because of it numbers... people my age came to such dates 1st time in 01-01-01, and will encounter the last of such dates on 12-12-12... any longer, it's a century later...
don't life just gets on as usual? for students, we have to study, for adults, you goes to work... it's special because we made it so...
and i dun see wat's so bad about "specialising" this day... we need such days, such belief that there are special things we can look forward to, to make our very dull lives a little bit not dull...
so, here, i just want to wish everyone all the best... for O and A lvl students, all the best in your exams, for everyone, all the best in your endeavours... and may life hold a little more of the pleasant surprise for all of you =D
it aches when i saw it... 569756 88 8692 852 695 73... 7822 687... 1995...
--I Need a Nap--
1:20 AM
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Thursday, August 07, 2008
study break... mon went for a workout in the mornin, den study room... tue went sch, den je lib with yf, dinner at imm... wed ran, je lib with yf, saw aaron, both of them go and play while i met angela, wk, jh and ch... emer aka b'day boy need stay in sch for sj sia... so went eat, chatted, till quite late... LOL if didn't meet next time ish 1 mth ltr ler... the 3 of them together damn cute lar!... and ANGELA!!! THANKS FOR SENDING ME THE SONG!!! 石欣卉 - 你没想像中爱我!!! wah this song always kena nelgected... radio always lik to play the theme song, but tis song also damn damn nice lar!!! my fav line:"我才懂不是我不心痛 其实心是没了感受"... lol end up angela n i, who wanted to meet each other online, decided we shld go n slp... LOL damn tired, or rather, laugh till damn tired...
today lit consultation with ken, hang in jp with grace, nap, study room...
aniway i saw this milk advertisment, so mani small children acting as reporters lar!!! DAMN DAMN DAMN CUTE!!! LOL!!! omg!!!
heard tis stuff abt "5 reasons why a psp is better than a girlfriend" on 987 FM just now... it was meant to be a reply to a girl who was so desperate that her bf is neglectin her for his psp, that she sent 3 msges to the station for advice... lol and tis is meant to be offensive for girls, but still i found it quite humourous... psp: can silent it when u wan to, can trade in when thr's a newer version, u know which buttons to press when there is a problem, can play mind games and get a prize instead of gettin hurt, can play it anitym u lik... LOL... and i wonder how the girl feels... well, sometimes i cannot help bt think if 987 ever gets complaint letters... they make so much jokes! LOL... ppl who listens to the FM must realli have a good sense of humour to take these HAHA
met him both times i went to study room... well, as usual, if we talk, i'm the one talkin... 3rd time we spoke to each other this whole year... saw mich and dickee's nicks... "i need more boar/pork time"... lol n recalled how mich looked as she spoke over the phone to dickee and when she talked abt collaboratin with pinky's gf... lol bliss... i guess, such things jus takes 2 hands... and, thru all the struggles on the way, which either makes it stronger or pull it down... and i tink the two of them, as well as lesvy, is the former.. for mi, i used to love my freedom too much, more than him? he's nice, but i'm too fun-lovin, childish, and more often than not, critical... bt it dun work that way... so, let's enjoy singlehood =D... rite brother? HAHA... wat for get into a relationship, when u noe u're not ready to commit to one? u need time and patience... besides, time is runnin out, a lvl is comin, and gettin into a relationship now is lik startin a new business in the middle of a economic crisis... money(time) is runnin out, yet you still need to put in a lot of capital for your new business to kick off...
anyway, somehow the question of "wat am i doin all these for" was provoked in my mind... i guess i pretty much found the ans when i decided that no matter how tough it gets, i wuld try my best to stay on... i got too much i care about to just throw them away, or make those i care abt upset... i'll have regrets... and studies... i guess is pretty much my upbringin... if i wan my freedom, i have to achieve good grades and let my parents trust that i can handle my own stuff... jus look at how they treat my sis, and mi... and the world is pretty much as unfair as this... u get good grades, u get too choose wat u wan to do, or wait till other ppl chooses u... if i wan to continue doin wat i lik to do, and be able to do wat i wan to do, i need to study... no matter how much i dislike to...
and no matter how much i hate politics and workin life, i have to get out of a student's lifestyle as soon as i can... my parents are agein and my sis is still in sec sch, wit my dad in and out of jobs... if i waste more time, i may not have the money to get a degree... i'm the eldest in the family, and turnin 18th soon, i have to be more mature when it comes to such things... and i cnt let anyone's expectations down... teachers and parents expect me to be able to do well... esp since my sis will nt be able to get into a uni... and i shld be doin well, so i can take care of the family...
not lik my parents need much takin care or anitin, bt in years to come, my mum have to retire, my parents can onli do part time jobs, and my sis most likely will be in her tertiary education...
is it too early for me to think about all these? maybe... bt wat's so bad abt it? haha... maybe cos of that, i've always been rather practical... though sometimes, i also lik to spend out of my means, but other den tt i'm quite practical... haha i rmb once, he was tellin mi how he had gotten me a soft toy bunny bt didn't wan to give me... haha den i demanded for it =x... haha ytd jh commented that i look i a small girl eatin my ice cream happily, smilin as i lick my ice cream... while i can be easily contented, i need to be concerned abt more things... just lik wat i told yf, i lik handicrafts, bt thr's a reason y i dun spend much time and money on them... haha except once in a while, just to make myself happy LOL... creatin my own jigsaw puzzle and stuff lik that HAHA...
well, that's y life sux... except that you have friends =D... it's hardly abt living for yourself... u derive the greatest joy from friends, u work for the sake of ur family, and tt's pretty much why u live for... at least, that's for a common person lik mi... the part for "urself" is pretty much how u find ways to make urself happy in the midst of all the problems u have...
heard tis a few days ago... reminds me of andrew, who used to loved tis song alot HAHA... nice song... settin urself free, breakin away =D
Breakaway - Kelly Clarkson
Grew up in a small town And when the rain would fall down I'd just stare out my window Dreaming of what could be And if I'd end up happy I would pray
Trying hard to reach out But when I tried to speak out Felt like no one could hear me Wanted to belong here But something felt so wrong here So I'd prayed (I would pray) I could break away
I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky And I'll make a wish Take a chance Make a change And breakaway Out of the darkness and into the sun But I won't forget all the ones that I love I'll take a risk Take a chance Make a change And breakaway
Wanna feel the warm breeze Sleep under a palm tree Feel the rush of the ocean Get on board a fast train Travel on a jet plane, far away (I will) And breakaway
I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky And I'll make a wish Take a chance Make a change And breakaway Out of the darkness and into the sun But I won't forget all the ones that I love I gotta take a risk Take a chance Make a change And breakaway
Buildings with a hundred floors Swinging around revolving doors Maybe I don't know where they'll take me but Gotta keep moving on, moving on Fly away, breakaway
I'll spread my wings And I'll learn how to fly Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye I gotta take a risk Take a chance Make a change And breakaway Out of the darkness and into the sun But I won't forget the place I come from I gotta take a risk Take a chance Make a change And breakaway, breakaway, breakaway
fri... haha CLASS PHOTO!!! HAHA finally whole class there, PLUS THURA!!! WOO!!! LOL mr wee no need emo ler!!! lol den aftersch went down to jas's and yenyu's b'day chalet... WOOT ALOHA TERRACE DAMN DAMN DAMN BIG... one big area for bbq, 4 bedrooms, one living room, one kitchen and one dining room... WOOT!!! haha but for a grp of 20 ppl a bit too big a chalet HAHA... so ya, bbq with yenyu and gang, ate, hang ard, watched the last ep of 球爱大战(the boys was damn damn enthu), took pics with jas, den we went home with yaoyao and gang... lol yao, xiao ivy, duc n i shared the same cab while val pris elvina and arron took another... HAHA so us 3 girls keep talk n talk, left out duc a little =x... ps!!! lol... we talked about yunnan!!! and a couple of other stuff... oh ya and even xiao ivy's drop of blood managed to sink halfway into the CUSO4... mine is practically on top =s
sat... long day... woke up early in the mornin to meet ks to pei him extent passport... and suay suay, my contacts broke into half, in my eyes =s...
ok i tink it went like tis: shld be i had accidentally tore it a little when i put it in my right eye, irritates my eye so i want take out and check... and in the process, i tore it into half... so, the other half was stuck inside, but i cnt find so at 1st i tot it broke into half before it put it in, which explains the irritation... so i put a 2nd contact in and went out, as i was oready VERY LATE... den i realised sth was amiss... damn pain when i move my eyes too much... took it out, put it in a container with the solution, bought a small mirror to find tt piece which i deduced to be inside... and finally, i found and took it out 4 hrs ltr, all tt while relying on my left eye to make sure i can see whats ard me...
so ya... i'm so glad it came out, so tt i dun have to be blind in one eye... anyway, was at cine, after accompanyin ks to lavendar to extend passport and have my breakfast before it decided to come out =s... met up with vanee and jiahao to watch mummy... not bad lar, but vanee, who had watched the previous 2 stories, said was not as good as expected... aniway, quite cute... most classic is how the skeletons got knocked down and can put their heads back and can continue fight, den cheer when they win lol... den aftertt, went to walked walked abt, and had dinner at far east... went to search for dessert aftertt, but end up they decided to go home... so went to join angela, ss, junda and wk to search "randomly" for his shirt (scare blog tio spy)... helga culdn't join us... lol, far far far less than $10 per person, nt bribery lar... aftertt, wanted to watch dark knight, but too bad all the ticks for the earlier slots were out, for both lido and cathay... so walked here and thr to find a place to sit down and talk... prom night... for the rest of the night, even when on train with angela
today was damn tired, so slept till late, met vanee and mich to study, saw zhenghui xing n shiyun, tutored, home
球爱大战's ending was, mm, quite lame... dunno how the yaya became very good friends with them sia, just abt 5 mins towards the end... anyway, happy ending
talkin to them abt prom night... wah den i realised... must save a lot of money and try to slim down now ler... even wk, a boy's budget, is $300... den angela and i were tinkin, for girls, best deals also abt thr as well... she mentioned abt someone to do the hair and the make up, abt $100 =s... den the dress, reasonable one abt $80? shoes, easier, can get very nice ones at $20 - $30, and those pouch-or-wat-ever-you-call-it at mm, $30 - $40, plus accessories, maybe $40? at least $300, and tt's for very good deals =s... okok, nvm, will save... also, must slim down =x... ok finally i feel the need to be a bit more image-conscious...
and ya, i'm way behind time... must mug as well
i'm a very sensitive person, and when i pretend not to know, it only means tt i dun wan to make anything worse, and i dun mind abt some things animore... so, ya, just noe that thr's limit, and i do know wat goes on, at least bits here and thr...
and my diet... i need to reduce carbohydrate(my fav bread =x), fats(my fav fried food =x) and protein(my fav meat =x), but at the same time increase iron intake... so after so mani "reduce-s", the next nearest kind of stuff i can get is nuts, tofu, and raisins HAHA... plus vitamin C to aid the absorbing... well, i cannot afford to get tired easily durin tis period of time, so iron intake is very important to me now...
suddenly heard tis song when i was out a few days ago, and some memos drifted back... lol i miss kbox T.T...
12:12 AM
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Friday, August 01, 2008
life have to revert back to normal...
tue chem test got 9/35, mugged, got fed up halfway and went off to gek poh to look abt for my file again... but well, i guess... wed got back phy, 2nd tym i pass phy in jc with 21/40, aftersch studied a little, den had dinner and took a walk with yf... today, went to macafe early in the mornin to get a cake for aaron, just nice he on the same bus, maths mock was disastrous, wanted to donate blood but my blood nt enough iron, ate with aaron n yf b4 takin a walk abt
study mood, i need you to be back. results gets poorer and poorer.
and my blood... haha actually quite expected it cos i knew long ago the amt of iron in my blood is not very sufficient... though the doc say it's quite sufficient for mi lar, but hey, the normal blood count is 12.5 and mine is 11.6... a whole unit lower... and natalie told mi hers was 13.(sumtin)... mm i tink i'm actually fatter den her, and my blood count is lower den her... mm... anyway, the docs thought i'm under 45kg and took my weight twice. HAHA =x.
while i slacked just now, i watched this 7pm drama... my dad, happened to come out of his shower and saw a scene of a girl scoldin her sister's husband and her sis, whom onli just agreed to go back to where their dad works, walked off. my dad asked mi to comment on the scene, n i was lik, come on, u dun see tis in reality. in reality, u dun see ppl with such extreme character. 球爱大战 for instance. we see people who are as stubborn as yanfang, but in the first place how wuld someone so extremely stubborn and arrogant becomes the captain in the 1st place? esp someone who only know how to tell people they are wrong? and someone lik sixing, can a person ever trust someone so much? rainie might be a more fair char... constant battle within herself, between care and hatred for yanfang... aniway, just watch dramas...
simple poem... should be quite easy to understand... i hope
Unpainted
The face is an empty sheet, Drawn on by the brain, Coloured by the heart, And how do one ask, To see the brillance of the heart, For mere lines speaks none, But all well known to us.
Easier said than done.
Sane is the culprit, Fear is the mastermind, And thoughts know acceptance, Wins its pit against the touch.
I know the art, I see the diff, I know the complications Of unlocking the brush.
My key can done these tasks, But not remix the paints Flowing from the hearts. Time and warmth Shall melt the cold colours, And now all I ask Is strong will beneath unpainted masks.
--I Need a Nap--
12:57 AM
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MEzzz
ying ming aka cabbage/veggie/veg/cai/cat
18
8th Oct 1990
libra
veggie-caBB bytch of bytch clan
WISHESzzz
piano!!! 3E'05 chalet mahjong no quarrels sing!!! buy all the nice books
slim down =s dance keep in contact new clothes, bags, shoes, accessories =x
tuition jobs
+It's funny why '
+thinking of those happy times with you '
+brings me tears. '
+And it's funny why '
+thinking of those times we argued '
+brings me laughters. '
